epicrapbattlesofhistoryfandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:WonderPikachu12/Sonic the Hedgehog vs Usain Bolt 2. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Sequels
Bitches, I told you it would get a rematch. Took me long enough, though. Inspired by, uh, someone else here who I forget, sequels will be their own sort of "season", I guess? They'll be acknowledged as such, get their own hints for future sequels, etc. Would like to dedicate this battle to my friend JC, who is a massive fan of Sonic. Hope you enjoy, bro. EDIT: Almost forgot, BIG thanks to TK for proofreading this battle. Gave some advice on certain lines and the very last verse. Would definitely be worse had he not helped, so thank you to him. 'Fastest thing alive of his eponymous franchise, Sonic the Hedgehog, and fastest man alive and Olympic champion, Usain Bolt, face off in a rematch to see once again who truly is faster.' ---- (Starts at 0:00) EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY SEQUELS VS BEGIN! Usain Bolt: (0:15) Ready for round two? I'm used to beating my own record! Passing checkers and sweaters, while furries are busy playing with your pecker. You're stepping it up to your better. Why don't you go back to begging plumbers, For attention and love that you couldn't even get from your missing mother? When I rap, I go real fast. You lost worlds on the Dreamcast. Step up to me, and I got a mean rap against this little queer rat. Feel wrath from a green clad, raised-on-the-streets man. I mastered the field tracks. You'll end up Lightning McQueen bad! Can't outrun a fat man, while I'm doing laps around this track! In any verbal race, you'll always end up getting last! I'm busy running circles and even jumping over hurdles, While you could even get beaten in a footrace by my turtle! I'm lightning! pose Bolting past you in a flash! Easily getting the gold, both medals and your rings in hand! I'll outdash you and all your friends, leave you with nowhere to go! You're a Goku rip-off who runs like Naruto! Sonic the Hedgehog: (0:46) Quite the false start, but now it's my world you're in, see? When my lyrics rise, you better escape from this city! I’ll eat you up like chili and crush you forty different ways! The Blue Blur’s the name, and I’ll rush past you in a blaze! The dopest you've ever been is among your teammates! This poser is trying to pose? Now that's fury bait! You're gonna get lapped, I'm a legend in video games! My racing transforms, while yours is always the same! While you're beating yourself, I'm busy making that cash, And no matter how bad people think I am, I'll always come back! While your time is up, your career is finished! When it comes to ditchin' women, you're surely the quickest! You're hardly a Saint, Leo, but I’ve got news for you! You Nintendon't wanna cross me! I'm way past cool! Can't live up to the greats, so go back to your new boyfriend, Bolt! You really gotta go faster, because: you're too slow! Usain Bolt: (1:16) Sonic, are you kidding me? Here's my lyrical sticks and stones. Judging me, when you're leaving any potential girl in the Friend Zones? Your series went Sonic Boom, when no one wanted it to be. You're behind, but it's fine; I'm used to Gays being second to me! Even your fans hate you, mine are always cheering me through! It's no wonder that you're blue; even your own creator left you! I got a triple-triple, while your Triple Trouble was trash. Leave a chip in your likability when I pass your ass! Sonic the Hedgehog: (1:31) It's no use! Your rapping is just no good! You should stick to having women grind up on your wood! It's absolute chaos when I take the mic! I'm amazing! Sonic Speed! Now I'll show you real super sonic racing! Usain Bolt: (1:39) Of course, you’d resort to that deus ex machina! You know you can’t win when I’m outrappin’ ya! You'll never be classic, and you'll never rap sick. And somehow, your rapping was even worse than '06! Super Sonic: (1:46) Heh, but at least I have some! Your personality is none! I’m the freaking Knight of the Wind! Beat you down when I spin! I get insane, I'm an advent! What are Usain with that accent? Spitting fire and ice when I rap, While you're too busy trying to dab! You can’t step up to SEGA, man! I’m crossing over with Mega Man! And I’m teaming up with Mario, To make fun the Olympics you own! I’m breaking the speed of light! You’ve already given up this fight! You may be the fastest man to try, But I’m the fastest thing alive! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC! (The logo dashes off to one side, reappearing on the other.) RAP!! (The logo repeats this.) BATTLES...! (The logo repeats this once more, before collapsing from exhaustion.) VIdeo games...vs..history... ---- Who won again? Sonic the Hedgehog Usain Bolt Which of these three battles would you like to see get a sequel? Link vs King Arthur Mike Haggar vs Theodore Roosevelt The Stanley Parable vs The Twilight Zone ---- Here's a hint for the next sequel: Category:Blog posts